Step 1: Cook two english muffins until they're crispy and nearly burnt, but not burnt.
Step 2: Butter one english muffin
Step 3: Place a piece of Tofurkey atop the buttered english muffin
Step 4: Spread ketchup and mustard atop the Tofurkey
Step 5: Place the second english muffin on top the whole concoction
Congratulations! You have an "English" burger. Once again, like its muffin cousin, something truly American.